As Seen On TV

Does anyone watch the TV series Chuck? I mean, anyone besides my husband? Everyone on that show is a spy, or will be in a future episode. Well, almost everyone.

I’m not a spy but now I can dress like one, at least like one on TV, on Chuck. The character John Casey sometimes wears a vest or jacket from SCOTTEVEST . Ooh, I am in love . . . with the vest.

The vest has 22 pockets. And these aren’t just your everyday, run-of-the-mill pockets. No, these are Deep, No Bulge pockets. You load up the vest with your most important travel items and it still has a slimming effect. (Reason enough to buy it right there and not even put anything in the pockets.)

One of the selling points is that I can wear it when travelling on an airplane and have everything I need right next to me. It’s like an extra carry-on bag, only you’re wearing it. At the airport, you take off the vest, send it through the x-ray machine with all your metal items in it and walk unfettered through the metal detector.

I chose the khaki-colored vest so that I’ll blend in with the background, or at least blend in with all the other tourists. I’ll be practically invisible, spy-like.

Oh, oh, it has a Personal Area Network (PAN) for invisible wire management. Don’t want anyone glimpsing my MP3 wires, that’s for sure! The vest is created to allow the wearer to use their hands-free technology items and carry them efficiently. Now that’s progress!

There were the usual informational cards attached to the vest, telling me about the features, the magnets (to keep the pockets closed and don’t wear this vest with a pacemaker or similar device), the wiring system and the care requirements. There were also 10 business cards with a different testimonial from a satisfied customer on each one.

What kinds of pockets does the vest have? I’m so glad you asked. I didn’t even have to guess what might go where, as any pocket large enough had its own specialized business card with a number and an explanation or suggestion as to what goes in it.

2a: Right vertical chest pocket. It’s for everyday essentials. If there is a 2b, I can’t see it.

3a: Left vertical chest pocket. Same as 2a, b.

6a and b: Right hand warmer pocket, with an extendable and removable key holder and an elastic band to hold a water bottle in the “full upright and locked position.” It has an interior change pocket.

7a and b: Left hand warmer pocket. It also has a pocket interior to it.

8: A back pocket, for maps, wires for the electronic devices already stored in other pockets, or possibly a portable hydration system.

9: Left clear touch fabric pocket, suggested for your phone or MP3 player.

10: An eyeglass and chamois pocket, chamois provided.

11a and b: A pub pocket, suggested for a paperback, newspaper or magazine, with a USB drive pocket inside. An iPad will fit in here. (Are iPads standard issue for spies?)

12: A travel documents pocket.

14: Right clear touch fabric pocket. See #9 for suggestions.

15a and b: A digital camera pocket, with its own pocket for a spare memory card (so tiny and cute!).

18: A clear tough ID pocket (business card size).

Two pencil pockets that can hold one pencil or pen each. (They are too small for a business card, so I used my spy skills to guess what they were for.)

Two teeny-tiny mesh open areas that I’m not sure what they are for. Pockets? Possibly, for but what?

Maybe I’ve miscounted, but that doesn’t seem to add up to 22. Where’s that last pocket? I can’t find it. It’s so well-hidden I may never find it. Or maybe it’s a secret spy pocket and that information is on a “need to know” basis.

In any case, I am totally invested now.