Brigadoon

Brigadoon. The legendary Scottish village that appears once in a hundred years, then disappears from view.

Well, I found one in central Texas. Only it’s not a village, it’s more of a . . . situation, a physical manifestation that occurs when the conditions are just right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it).

My latest Brigadoon happened while I was at the grocery store.

This was my usual grocery store and you’d think that I’d know where everything is by now. But I don’t. The last time I was in, the layout was vastly different from the time before. Cross-aisles had disappeared. Some of the shelves had grown; previously they had been about 4 1/2 feet tall, now they were 6 1/2 feet tall, where I had to reach up for some of the items.

They also moved things around. The school and office supplies? No longer by the entrance to the garden center. After a search-and-rescue effort, I found them over by the towels. (Yes, this is a super grocery store. There’s food in there, somewhere.)

Having to walk around the store a few times to find everything isn’t the problem. It’s when entire aisles start to disappear on me that I get confused.

When I got to the bottom of my list, the last item was on an aisle I had already been on. Rats! I turned around and made my way back. But I couldn’t find that aisle any more. That glimmer that I saw as I came around the corner? I now believe it was the aisle disappearing. I searched and searched, walking around the store several more times. Nothing doing. I couldn’t find the aisle that contained that last item on my list. I know I saw it there before, I was standing in it. Really! (I tell myself.)

No one else seemed to be lost, like me, or concerned that a whole aisle had just disappeared. Do these people already have everything on their list? Does no one but me need something that was on that aisle? Will I go forever without getting a 16-ounce bottle of Liquid Aminos? (What is that stuff, anyway?)

Conceding defeat, I check out without my Liquid Aminos. My only hope is that my SUV has not succumbed to the Brigadoon effect and disappeared from the parking lot, as it sometimes does. It only disappears temporarily (and fortunately) until I have walked around the parking lot several times, calling for it (quietly). Then, while my back is turned, it reappears. I’d swear the headlights and grill look as if they are laughing at me.

I may have to recheck the registration on my SUV. I thought it was made in Japan. I’m thinking now it might be from Scotland.

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One thought on “Brigadoon

  1. It’s a conspiracy by the grocery store boffins to make you buy more stuff. I think the plan is that you’ll wander around lost for so long, you’ll get hungry and have to buy more food so you can continue your search for the Liquid Aminos. Which doesn’t sound like a real thing anyway, so you probably don’t need them. Just saying.

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