Animal, vegetable or mineral?

I’m pretty sure I know which one I am, at least during this no-doubt-about-it-it’s-winter weather.

It’s been so cold that my walking partner refused to go on our walks with me. Then it got even colder, so that I also refused to go on our walks. A wind chill of 19 degrees does not make us inclined to stroll around the Capitol grounds.

Yes, we do know that real winter weather exists on a daily basis elsewhere around the world. We’re just not used to it here.

The colder it gets, the more accessories I add when going walking. A scarf for my head and neck. Gloves. A bigger scarf. Heavier gloves. A hat. Wool socks. I stopped wearing my running shoes on the walk because they let the wind just whip on right on through the meshed fabric. Brrr.

I get so bundled up that I can’t turn my head independently of my body. It is like being in a soft-sided body cast. I have to turn my whole body to look in any direction other than forward. My arms stick out, somewhat like the Frankenstein monster’s walk, due to all the layers of clothing that I wear.

My only long coat (other than my raincoat) is purple. Not a neon purple — it doesn’t glow or pulsate — but it is purple.

My thick fleece hat, scarf and gloves? Green. A nice bright green.

It occurred to me that this combination of colors and shapes (long and purple with green at the tips) was somewhat akin to an eggplant. And when I tie my scarf so that the knot is on the side, I look like the old-timey photos of people with toothaches.

Animal, vegetable, or mineral? I’m a vegetable. A walking eggplant with a toothache.

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