How not to test drive a new car

I took the time to check out a few vehicles because my truck is getting finicky (but only with me, not with my mechanic; it’s fine when he’s around).

I considered another dog truck as well as a car, used and new for both. If I have to buy another vehicle soon, I want as much time as possible to get over the sticker shock. I hate swooning in public.

So there I am in this car, driving down the access road with the Young Salesman as my passenger.

I spot a Mini Cooper.

“Oooooohhh, a MINI COOPER!”, I squeal. “I just LOVE Minis. Love them. They are so CUTE CUTE CUTE. In fact, I drove my friend Trish to San Antonio to pick up her Mini and if I could have fit my dog crates into one, I would have bought a Mini for myself right then and there. Only my dog crates won’t fit into one. Unless I get different dogs, like those Chinese Crested powder puffs. But if I get different dogs, I’d have to get a different husband, so that’s out of the question. My, my, my, those Minis are so CUTE!”

I turn to look at the Young Salesman, who is my passenger while I am test driving his non-Mini Cooper. He has the deer-in-the-headlights look.

“So,” I said, actually taking time to breathe and keeping my eyes on the road, “what kind of vehicle do you drive?” (Ahem.)

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